


2005, 2012, And a Whole Lot of the 1900s In Between

by bashfulpenguin



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 1930s, Angst with a Happy Ending, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Clint Barton is an idiot, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-War, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bashfulpenguin/pseuds/bashfulpenguin
Summary: AU where Peggy Carter dies before Steve Rogers wakes up from the ice and her daughter, tells stories about how her mother was gay. Obviously, people ask if Steve knew and she explains that of course, he did. Now Steve wakes up in 2012 and has to deal with the world knowing he was gay and the threat of Hydra.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 185





	2005, 2012, And a Whole Lot of the 1900s In Between

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first Stucky prompt I ever thought of and it's the longest thing I've ever written and one of the only things I've ever bothered to finish.  
> I took some, uh, creative liberties so bear with me on that lol  
> I really hope you guys like it!!

Peggy Carter was not an idiot. And neither was Steve Rogers. They both knew that even Captain America and Margaret Carter could wake up one morning with a blue ticket and fresh spit thrown at them. 

So they pretended. They pretended to be the Captain and his spy- a love story for decades to come. They would smile at each other, catch each other’s eye across the room and blush. They even shared a few kisses here and there. To everyone, they were the picture of love. The good old Christian love story in every sense of the word. 

Except those close to them knew the real story. Captain Steve Rogers was in love with his Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. And Peggy was in love with a secretary named Mary. They were not Christian love stories. 

When Steve crashed into the Atlantic, Peggy was selfish. She told him not to do it. She talked to him over the radio before he crashed- pleading that he would find another way. Her chance at a happy ending was crashing into the ocean. More than that, Steve Rogers was crashing into the ocean and she would never see him again. 

But she understood why he had to. When James fell Steve was never the same again. He was fidgety, short-tempered and forgetful. But mostly he was sad. 

“Always the gentlemen, Steve offered to help put on a show to make sure no one would catch them.”

“Miss Carter? What do you mean by them?”

“My mother wasn’t the only gay person in the military. She had a charming girlfriend. And Steve. Well, Steve had Bucky.”

And the reporters clamoured. 

* * *

When Steve woke up in 2012 he wasn’t expecting rainbows. Well, he wasn’t even expecting to be in 2012, but it was the rainbows that really threw him. 

Everywhere he went was filled with rainbows. When he ran out into Times Square for the first time he knew he wasn’t in the 1940s anymore. With lights and sound coming at him from every angle- it was overwhelming. But the only thing he could focus on was a giant electronic rainbow plastered on one of the lightboards. 

Turning to his left Steve saw Nick Fury jogging towards him. Once Fury saw what Steve was looking at, his face softened. Well as much as Fury’s face could. 

“We have a lot to discuss,” he said. And Steve followed him back to base.

* * *

“What do you mean she’s dead?” Steve said teeth gritted. He knew that waking up 70 years later would mean that everyone and everything he knew would be gone. But somehow that didn’t include Peggy. He always imagined her to be immortal like she could never die. “When did she die?” 

“2005. She was 84 years old.” 

Steve sat back and sighed. He hated knowing that he was truly alone. That he still didn’t have Bucky and he didn’t even have Peggy anymore.

“But Rogers, she had a daughter,” Fury started. 

“A daughter? She married?” He didn’t want to think about that. He just hoped that whoever she married knew about her… situation. Unlikely though considering she had a daughter. 

“Rogers, that’s not the point. She was close with her daughter and told her some personal things about you. When she died, her daughter then told some of those things to the press.”

Steve felt his breath catch in his throat. Everything they had worked to hide was now out in the open. He felt tears threatening to spill over.

“It’s not that big of a deal. The world is different now. She assumed you were dead- we all did. She wanted people to know what her mother- and by association, you- went through. What we at SHIELD want is to help you adjust to this new century and with it this new information that has come out about you…”

And so the next few months Steve spent in seclusion learning every possible thing he could about the past 70 years as SHIELD saw it. 

And while there was so much that was different, all he could focus on was the small history of the LGBT community that SHIELD gave him. Thousands of people who were braver than Steve could ever be, and yet, since Peggy’s daughter went public, all the thousands of people far braver than Steve used him as their mascot. Flags with the Captain America shield on them, Captain America merchandise sold with rainbows plastered all over them. And the Bucky Bear. Sometimes sold with a little rainbow flag. 

“Can we get you anything, Captain Rogers?”

Steve looked up from the pictures Fury handed him earlier that day. “Um, yeah. Do you think you could find one of these?” He asked handing over the picture to the woman.

“A Bucky Bear?” 

“Yeah,” he said softly. 

“Of course, sir,” she said, nodding as she turned around to leave. 

Steve smiled to himself. Bucky was always much better at, well everything, than he was. He would’ve loved all of this. Peggy would’ve found it amusing. But Steve mostly just found it sad. It was everything that he and Bucky wished for while holding hands in the dark safety of their tent. Or cuddling together in the quiet of their small Brooklyn apartment. 

But how could Steve be happy when the one person he wanted to enjoy it with was dead? The world was cruel sometimes. 

* * *

“Are you just going to stand there collecting dust or are you going to come in?” 

“I’m not collecting dust,” Steve said frowning. “I’m just scared.” 

Bucky shook his head and walked towards him. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Everyone here is exactly like us, and  _ proud of it _ .” He threw his arm around Steve and pulled him close. “So there. We can walk in there, I can buy you a drink, and we can pretend we’re just like every other couple in Brooklyn.” 

“But Buck we’re not,” Steve said squirming out of his boyfriend’s arms. 

“Aw, Stevie are you really turning away from a challenge? I know you, and I know you’re the most stubborn human in all of New York, so what’s up? Why don’t you want to go in? I go here almost every week and nothing has ever happened to me.” He put his arms back around Steve and looked down at him smiling. “Please? For me?”

Steve sighed, “Fine. But we’re not staying long.” 

“That’s fine! Thank you, Stevie,” Bucky said unravelling himself from his boyfriend and leaning down to kiss his cheek. “You won’t regret this! We’re just like every other couple in Brooklyn tonight,” he called to Steve who was still dazed from Bucky’s lips on his cheek. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the feeling. And certainly not in public. 

“Bucky you can’t just  _ kiss me _ ,” Steve hissed, running after Bucky who was almost at the door. “What if someone sees?”

“And yet I did. Once we’re inside I can kiss you all I want because there’s no rules in there. No God to tell us we’re sick and wrong. So come  _ on _ .” And just like that Steve was pulled into the bar where everyone was the same and he could kiss his boyfriend without needing to worry about who else was around.

  
  


* * *

“What’s the status lover boy?” 

“Natasha please stop calling me that,” Steve said, laying his shield against the wall and relaxing into the rhythm of the mission.

“Yeah Nat, didn’t you know Cap hasn’t gotten laid since the 40s? I think our top priority is getting him a guy. It’s been  _ 70 years _ dude-” Clint was cut off by Natasha smacking his arm. “ _ Ow _ ,” he winced.

“Clint I don’t need anyone. Unless you can somehow find a certain muscley grey-eyed brunette from the 1940s, I’m not interested.” 

“There’s plenty of Bucky look-alike porn stars who I’m sure would love to do  _ something _ with-”

“Clint seriously?” Natasha said hitting Clint in the head. “Our top priority is this mysterious Hydra base. Steve’s love life is unfortunately second.” 

“Guys seriously,” Steve sighed while the other two quietly laughed. “The only thing that’s been around longer than my love life is the threat of Hydra. I didn’t wake up 70 years later just to be greeted by Nazis again so I’d really appreciate some focus.  _ Please _ .” 

While Clint kept muttering to himself, Natasha’s entire body perked up as she became serious again. “Shut up. I hear someone.”

Down the hall adjacent to the one the three were crouched in walked two men in lab coats. 

“All I’m saying is the Captain coming back can only mean trouble for us. Especially with everything we found out from the Carter girl,” the older man said. 

“It’s fine. We’ve wiped all memories from him, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Just to be safe, we should give the soldier the kill order earlier than we were planning. The Captain is dangerous and we can’t have him ruining the years of work we put into this.”

The three looked at each other as the men continued their conversation down the hallway. Steve raised his gaze towards Clint and Natasha. “You don’t think they were talking about me, do you?”

Clint winced and shook his head. “I don’t know, man. I don’t think I know anyone else who is a captain with a personal vendetta against Hydra and a relationship to a Carter girl.”

Natasha gave a sympathetic smile and turned to look down the hallway. Picking up her gun, she motioned to the men behind her. “Well, I’d say we just have to take out the soldier before he can do anything to Steve.”

  
  


* * *

* _ Thunk* _

_ *Thunk* _

_ *Thunk* _

Steve woke up scratching his burning eyes. * _ Thunk*. _

“What the-” he was cut off by another thunk at his window. He rolled over, climbing out of his bed and wincing at the cold floor on his bare feet. Pulling back the curtains he couldn’t see anything, just the outline of the fire escape in the dark. He started to turn back when he heard another thud.

“Jesus, how oblivious are you?” A muffled voice whispered. 

Steve opened his window and stuck his head out, blinking back the tears forming as the cold wind assaulted his face. When he turned his head he saw Bucky, a smile making its way across his face and lighting up the cold, dark fire escape. 

“Buck it’s freezing out and it’s the middle of the night. What are you doing?”

“I missed yah,” he said, crawling towards Steve. “Now will you let me in or what? I’m freezing my ass off out here.” 

Steve stepped back to allow Bucky to climb in through the window, shutting it quietly so as to not awaken his mother once Bucky was fully inside. 

“Hi,” Bucky whispered, leaning in towards Steve.

“Hi.”

“I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see you,” Bucky said, spinning on his heels and walking away from Steve and towards his bed. 

“And why is that?” Steve prompted, still trying to act angry but quickly losing all footing as he melted at the other boy’s stupidity.

“Because I wouldn’t be able to do this,” he said, leaning in and planting a short kiss on Steve’s cheek. 

“You’re doing it wrong,” Steve giggled. Suddenly Bucky was being yanked down to Steve’s level where Steve kissed him long and deep. “That’s how you do it,” he said when they finally pulled apart to catch their breath.

Bucky shook his head and laughed, staring at the floor with a smile that spanned his whole face.

Steve lifted Bucky’s face so he was looking at him. Seeing his smile Steve swore he would never tire of it. It was his favourite thing about Bucky. Maybe his favourite thing in the whole world. 

  
  


* * *

“The Winter Soldier. He’s the deadliest assassin in the world. We’re going to need some backup.” Natasha sighed as she leaned back into her chair. The screen in front of her blinking back to her everything she was afraid might happen. 

“And that guy is after Steve?” Clint asked, reading over the screen while a fresh pit settled in his stomach. Hydra was a problem by themselves, adding in the deadliest man on the planet was something that worried even Clint. 

“I thought he was a myth. No one’s kill spree lasts for decades. Yet his somehow does. It’s like he’s a ghost.” Natasha frowned at her interlocked hands. “We can take him out no problem, but we’re going to need more than just the three of us.” 

Clint nodded and turned his head towards the door where Steve walked in, holding multiple bottles of pills and ACE bandages. 

“Here,” Steve said tossing the pill bottles at Clint and Natasha and wrapping his own bloody hand in the bandages. 

Natasha opened the bottle and swallowed the pills dry, mouthing a silent ‘thank you’ at Steve as she turned back to the footage SHIELD caught of the Winter Soldier. 

“There’s something familiar about him, don’t you think?” Steve asked, pulling a chair up to join the other two at the monitor.

“Well he’s probably been involved in every major assination and murder over the past 70 years, so maybe that’s what’s familiar about him,” Natasha suggested. Steve could hear the anger edging into her voice but chose to ignore it for fear of starting something he couldn’t finish.

“For all we know he could be as old as you. He could have been someone you fought in the war or something.” Clint said, not taking his eyes off the screen to watch the Winter Soldier shoot a car off a bridge and make a b-line towards Steve, shooting anything that got in his way. 

“Maybe…” Steve said, all his attention on the video as he watched the eerily familiar walk and fighting style of The Soldier. 

  
  


* * *

Sometimes even Steve hated how stubborn and easily provoked he was. Like now, when he was cornered in a back alley by three men twice his size, absolutely beating him to a pulp. But sometimes he just can’t help himself because some idiot thinks that women are objects, or that homosexuals are less than human, or even tries to start a fight with someone just because of their skin color. Doesn’t matter what they do, someone is always doing something that Steve just can’t help but get angry about. 

And as mad with himself as he is for getting into these situations, he couldn’t stand to give them the satisfaction of letting them win. A few bruises and some blood never hurt anyone anyways. 

So when they taunted Steve by asking him if he’d had enough, of course, he responded by saying, “I could do this all day.” Which if he was being honest, he couldn’t. He could probably only handle five more minutes. 

“Hey!” Steve heard from behind the two men. “Pick on someone your own size!” As the two men turned towards the shouting man, who Steve could now register as Bucky, he started to let his injuries get the better of him. He leaned into the brick wall next to him as Bucky wrestled the two men, putting up a much better fight than Steve ever could. 

As Steve tried to get his rapid and heavy breathing under control, he watched Bucky send a punch right into the larger of the two men’s nose. As he stumbled backwards holding his head Bucky took the opportunity to turn and kick the other man’s groin. When they had decided to give up and stumble out of the alley, Bucky jogged over to Steve.

“I didn’t need you, I had them on the ropes,” Steve said. Which Bucky knew was Steve’s version of a thank you.

So he responded with, “I know. Thanks for tiring them out for me.” Which Steve knew meant ‘I keep telling you to stop punching people, it worries me, Steve.’

“I think I’m bleeding,” Steve said. Which was true, but also meant ‘Please take me home.’ So Bucky slung his arm around Steve and help him limp back to their small little apartment where he could clean up his bleeding boyfriend and not hover over him until the blue and purple cleared from his face. 

  
  


* * *

Natasha had sworn that the next time they met the Winter Soldier they’d be prepared to take him down. Unfortunately, Steve did not hold the same ideals.

Instead, he used himself as human bait to the Soldier. Quite literally a 200 pound red white and blue worm on a hook for the deadliest thing in the entire world.

Perched on the small balcony of his apartment in full Captain America gear, Steve waited for the Winter Soldier. With his shield between his legs, he yawned and settled in for a long night. It wasn’t even certain that the Soldier would show up, but it was the most excitement Steve had had since he woke up and he wasn’t going to let that opportunity pass by him. 

It wasn’t until 3 in the morning when Steve heard something. He immediately perked up, looking at the rooftops around his balcony. When he heard another noise his head snapped to his right where a large man was standing on his neighbours’ balcony, gun aimed right at Steve.

“Well that’s not a very nice hello,” Steve said, voice raspy from hours of disuse. The Soldier stared blankly back and lowered his gun. He took it as a win. No bullet in his head meant he could just keep talking. 

“I think you need to work on your steps. You’re quiet but not quiet enough. Supersoldier hearing and all.” The Soldier hiked his gun back up to point at Steve’s head. 

In an instance, Steve was moving to get the gun out of the Soldier’s arms. As they struggled on the balconies for control of the gun, Steve’s arm raised and hit The Soldier in the face, knocking his mask off. 

Even in the dark, Steve recognised him instantly. He dropped the gun he didn’t even know he was holding and stumbled backwards. “Bucky?” He choked out.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” He responded, his voice deep and raspy, but still undeniably Bucky. 

“It’s me, Steve,” Steve said trying to mask the years of grief and regret threatening to spill into his words.

And before he could even say anything else, Bucky was gone as quickly he had arrived. Gun, mask, and all. 

  
  


* * *

“Fuck it. I might have to burn down the base myself,” Steve swore, throwing down the stupid winged mask they made him wear while he was on stage punching fake Hitlers. 

“Well that’s no way to speak to a lady,” a soft, and oddly British voice said from behind him.

Steve spun around and saw the source of the voice. “Agent Margaret Carter. Some people call me Peggy, but you may not,” she said offering him her hand to shake. 

“Steve Rogers,” he said while shaking her hand, slightly in awe of the woman in front of him.

“I know. I saw you when we were looking for candidates for Project Rebirth. I apologise for not introducing myself then I was, err, preoccupied.” Steve nodded and started to leave. “So what’s all this about burning the base down?”

“Uh, well,” Steve started. “Do you know a James Buchanan Barnes?” He asked instead, trying not to let himself get hopeful for an outcome that might never come.

“I’ve heard the name. He’s assigned to the 107th Infantry Regiment. Why?”

“Yeah well, they’ve uh, he’s gone missing. At least that’s what I’ve heard. I know you know better than anyone else here what I’m capable of. I really need you to help me find him. Or at least get them to let me find him. I’m begging you.”

Peggy didn’t know if it was the pure desperation in his voice, the fear filling his eyes or the sense of urgency and love that infected every word that made her agree to help. Whatever it was, she soon found herself wedged between a super soldier and Howard Stark on a plane to rescue one James Buchanan Barnes.

“You really care for him,” she prompted once Howard had finally shut the door to the cockpit. She watched as Steve’s face lit up thinking about him, and then dimmed once he realised he’d slipped up and had to hide it. She knew that face. She had dealt with it one too many times herself. “It’s okay Steve. He can make you happy,” she whispered, leaning into him, trying to tell him everything without saying anything.

Steve shook his head and looked down at his hands and then across to the door separating them and Howard. “Don’t worry,” she said, a small smile creeping in because she knew exactly where this was going. “If we’re quiet he won’t hear a thing.”

“Margaret,” he started.

“Peggy,” she corrected him with a smile. 

“Peggy,” he started again. “My desperation to find Bucky- that’s James- is not from a brotherly love situation.”

Peggy smiled in spite of herself. “I understand. My fondness for Howard’s secretary Mary is not just one of friendship. I think we understand each other perfectly well don’t you think, Steve?” 

Steve nodded and smiled. “I think we do, Peggy.” 

  
  


* * *

“Steve, I can assure you that the Winter Soldier is not your dead boyfriend,” Natasha shouted for what seemed like the third time today. “You said it yourself, it was three in the morning. You’re just projecting. I know you miss him, but the Winter Soldier would never get a target alone and waste time chit-chatting let alone leave without completing his mission,” she seethed. “Honestly Steve I think you’re starting to lose your mind.”

“I’m not. It really was Bucky. I swear to you.” He knew he wasn’t crazy. There was no way he could make that up. No matter how much he missed Bucky; he knew what he saw was real.

“You’ve been awake all night dude. Let’s just go get some coffee and forget about it. We’ll get the Soldier and all of this will be over,” Clint suggested.

Steve didn’t want it to be over, but he knew he would never convince the two that it really was Bucky. And even if it was, it seemed the last thing he would want to do is walk around the National Mall holding hands with him and catching up on everything they’d missed in the past 70 years. 

“Coffee sounds great,” he said instead, grabbing his jacket off the conference table and following Clint and Natasha out the door. 

When they finally got to Starbucks Steve deflated at the long line and pictures of the latest sugary concoction. Plastered all over the store were advertisements for the new Rainbow Frappuccino. It wasn’t so much the new line of sugary drinks that annoyed Steve, but the long line of teenagers wearing Captain America shirts and taking pictures with their rainbow drinks around the store.

Steve never asked to be the figurehead of the LGBT community. And yet he found himself surrounded by eager-eyed teenagers asking to take a picture and telling him about how knowing America’s pride and joy was gay helped them cope with their own sexuality. Not even his baseball hat and sunglasses could stop them from recognising him. So he plastered on a smile and thanked them all for their kind words, while inside all he wanted to do was crawl back into the plane he went down in and stay there for another 70 years.

“Captain Rogers!” A voice called out. When he turned in the direction of the voice he saw a friendly looking man with quite a bit of piercings behind the counter holding out a Rainbow frappe. 

Steve sighed and shuffled his way over towards him. “I didn’t order anything yet,” he said.

“It’s on the house,” he said with a wink. Steve took it with a curt nod and tight-lipped smile. As he begrudgingly walked back to Clint and Natasha he looked down and saw a phone number neatly written on the plastic of the cup.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” he groaned once he got to his friends, “but the way to my heart is not rainbows and sugary drinks.” 

“I’m beginning to think coffee was a bad idea,” Clint said in lue of a response. 

“He’s not my type,” Steve said handing the drink to Clint instead. “I hope that’s enough sugar and caffeine to entice you out of here?” Clint nodded and took a sip of the drink. Humming his approval he turned towards the door.

“I’m sorry this happened. But on the bright side if the drink was poisoned I’d rather it be Clint who drinks it than you,” Natasha said as she followed Clint out the door.

At this point, Steve wouldn’t have minded a poisonous drink to get him through the day.

  
  


* * *

“I’m going to miss this,” Steve murmured into the crook of Bucky’s neck. 

“Oh please, you’re going to have a whole bed to yourself. You’ll be missing the extra room when I come back for Christmas in just a few months.” 

Steve knew what Bucky was doing. He was trying to play off his whole soldier thing as nothing. That Steve wouldn’t even notice he was gone. But in reality, Steve wouldn’t be able to ignore the pit in his stomach and the gaping hole in his heart growing bigger the longer they were apart. And for Bucky to think he was doing him a favor? He really couldn’t understand. 

“Unless I come with you,” Steve said, sitting up and turning towards Bucky.

“Steve no. You’re staying here where I’ll  _ know  _ you’ll be safe. They won’t even let enlist Steve. You need to stay here. You’re everything to me, Stevie. I can’t lose you so I need you to stay here and not do anything stupid,” Bucky pleaded, turning towards Steve and pulling him closer into his chest. “Stevie you’re my everything,” he whispered into the top of his head before leaning into him and kissing his hair.

And Steve knew what he was doing. “Buck you’re my everything too,” he said. “But you’re going out and risking your life for this country and the lives of millions. Millions Buck. Millions. And I’m just sitting here doing  _ nothing _ . I have to do  _ something  _ Buck.”

Bucky shook his head and pulled Steve in closer so he was lying flat against his chest. “Why do you have to be so goddamn righteous all the time.” Steve moved as if he was going to say something but Bucky cut him off before he could. “You’d be keeping me alive if you stay here.  _ Safe _ . So can we please not spend my last night in New York bickering and just enjoy each other please?”

Steve rolled his eyes and settled back into Bucky’s arms. They spent the rest of the night just holding each other and not mentioning what they both knew what was coming.

The war in Europe wasn’t looking good and the men who went over weren’t coming back. So if it was going to be the last time they were together, they certainly weren’t going to waste it having the same argument they’d been having since the war started. 

“I love you,” Steve said finally.

Bucky turned to look down at him. “I know Stevie.” He gave a sad smile and tried to stop Steve from seeing the tears run down his face. “I love you too. More than you could ever know.”

“I know.”

  
  


* * *

When Steve went running the next morning he saw the same man he always saw and always passed every day. And as he passed the man for the fifth time, he found the courage to finally say something. 

“On your left,” he said, zooming by the other man and laughing to himself while he made another lap. 

“On your left,” he said again, still laughing at his own joke as he continued running. 

“On your le-” 

“Yeah, I know. On my left,” the man huffed out, stopping in his place.

Steve turned around and walked back to him. “I’d offer to race you but I think I’d have you beat so I’ll save you the lap,” he said, still laughing over his own joke even though the man was clearly not amused. “Steve Rogers by the way,” he said extending a hand.

The man’s face scrunched up. “Oh, so that’s why you’re that fast,” he remarked. “Captain America and all.” He made a gesture towards Steve. 

“Only on the weekdays,” he said, smiling at how  _ clever  _ he was today. If only Natasha or Peggy could see him now, they’d be so proud. 

The man shook his head and let out a loud laugh. “Sam Wilson,” he said offering Steve his hand again. “And that’s every day, not just weekdays.” 

Steve laughed. It had been a long time since he had laughed, and here he was standing in the middle of the sidewalk laughing with a complete stranger over their own stupid jokes. 

It was refreshing. He didn’t think he’d ever get to experience this again. 

“Well Sam, up for another lap?” 

“Absolutely not. I’m in the mood for some breakfast.” 

So Steve shrugged and followed Sam to a diner across the street where they talked for hours about complete and utter nonsense.

It was the first time he got the chance to be Steve Rogers since he came back from the ice.

He didn’t realise how much he missed being Steve Rogers.

  
  


* * *

“I’m sick of being Steve Rogers,” he said to the doctor. “I could really do some good out there but apparently you’re not looking for Steve Rogers to go out and do that.” Steve was sick of going through the recruitment offices only to be sent back out again. 

“Steve I’m approving you.” Steve’s head shot up to look at the doctor. He knew his hearing was bad but he didn’t think it was so bad he’d start imagining things. 

It seemed like the doctor understood his confusion. “I have a project that I think you’re the perfect candidate for. We already have so many big men fighting over there, maybe what we need now is the little guy,” he suggested. 

Steve looked around and gulped. This was finally his chance. 

“I’m giving you a chance. It’s  _ only  _ a chance.” 

He started nodding as he rushed to follow the doctor out towards the lobby. “I’ll take it.” The only people who ever seemed to think he was worth anything was Bucky and his own mother. And now someone else was finally seeing beyond his countless medical issues and letting him prove himself. 

“I never caught your name,” Steve said as the doctor handed him his enlistment files.

“Dr Erskine,” he said. “Good luck, soldier.” And with that, he disappeared behind the curtain.

Steve smiled to himself as he looked down at the enlistment forms. Five times he tried to get approved and finally, it worked. He knew it was stupid to think he’d see Bucky again, but he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to serve in the 107th with Bucky. 

He also knew that the likelihood that he’d even get to the front lines was slim. He was exactly like Erskine said he was. The little guy. He’d always been that way and he always would be. But they’d find him something to do and he’d do it well. 

He wouldn’t have to sit at home doing nothing to help while Bucky and thousands of other men gave their lives to do what he’s been doing his whole life. 

  
  


* * *

Part of Steve was starting to believe that what Clint and Natasha were saying about the Winter Soldier was true. It would be crazy to think that Bucky had climbed onto his neighbor’s balcony as the infamous Winter Soldier, someone who was out to kill him.

But another part of Steve, the hopeful part, wanted to know that maybe somehow Bucky was alive. That maybe he wasn’t alone in the world, that somewhere out there was his Bucky. 

Just thinking about him made Steve upset. It was his fault that he fell off the train. It was his fault they were even on the train to begin with. Since he fell, Steve couldn’t think of Bucky without his mind circling back to the train. How he should’ve jumped after him. How he should’ve kept Bucky behind him and inside the train. How he should’ve done anything differently- anything to keep him alive. 

But he didn’t. When he flew the plane into the Atlantic he knew he could have jumped out. That he could crash the plane and keep himself safe. And he knew Peggy knew that too. From the moment he told her what he was doing she didn’t stop talking. Frantically trying to get through to him that  _ he didn’t have to do that _ . But he couldn’t stand to live in a world where he let Bucky die.

He didn’t really want to kill himself, but the opportunity to save millions of lives and start to make right what he did to Bucky was right there, and he couldn’t not take it.

Waking up in a world where everything he was different and everything he knew was gone was something he thought he deserved after he let Bucky die and left Peggy all alone, begging Steve to not leave her. 

He wiped his eyes dry and got up to open the windows to let in some fresh air. Pulling back the curtains it took everything in him to not scream. Outside his window was none other than Bucky Barnes. Full Winter Soldier gear minus the mask and gun. A truce if he ever saw one.

“You’re not wearing a mask,” he said. It was all he could say. “Punch me I think I’m dreaming.” 

Thankfully Bucky didn’t punch him, just furrowed his eyebrows and continued to stare at him. Steve walked over to the balcony door and opened it, hoping that Bucky would come in. 

When all he did was glare at the now open door, Steve felt himself deflate. “Bucky do you know who I am?” He asked, searching his face for any signs of recognition. 

“You’re my mission.” His voice sounded exactly as it had the last time, except with the faintest bit of confusion and despair trickling in. He smiled in spite of himself. He didn’t think he’d ever get to see him again. Ever get to hear his voice again. And sure, it wasn’t in the best circumstances, not even close, but it was still Bucky. 

“I’m Steve Rogers.” Once he said that Bucky spun so he was entirely facing Steve. “Do you recognise that name?” 

Bucky shook his head and walked towards him. “You’re my mission,” he repeated again. 

Without thinking, Steve started to reach out towards him. It was like seeing a ghost. There was no way Natasha could explain this away. The Winter Soldier really was Bucky.

His hand was slapped out of reach from Bucky, bringing him back to reality. “Don’t touch me,” he all but whimpered. Steve took a step back, hoping to ease Bucky’s fear. It broke his heart. 

Before he could do anything else, his phone started ringing, alerting Bucky causing him to produce a knife. “What?” He snapped, frustrated that the call had startled an already alarmed Bucky.

“The Winter Soldier has escaped,” Natasha’s voice said through the phone. “I think he’ll head over to you. You’re his target after all. Clint and I are on our way.” 

“Nat you don’t need to-” he said, cut off from her hanging up the phone. He looked back at Bucky who was still on his balcony holding a knife, ready to attack. “I think you need to go,” he said shoving the phone back in his pocket.

“But they’ll put me back into the chair. It hurts. I don’t want to.” He watched as Bucky collapsed in on himself and looked out over the balcony. 

“I promise I’ll come and get you out so they won’t hurt you again.” The last thing he wanted was for Bucky to have to go back to Hydra, but Natasha was a shoot first, ask questions later kind of girl. Bucky’s strongest chance of survival was with Hydra. After that, he could explain to Natasha and Clint that it really was Bucky and get Bucky out of there.

“I won’t remember you,” Bucky said, regaining his posture and returning his gaze towards Steve. 

“I will. I’ll remember for the both of us.” 

And just as Natasha and Clint kicked down his door, Bucky was gone. 

“Is he here?” Clint asked while grabbing an arrow to load his bow.

“You just missed him,” he said. “I’m going to need you guys to help me with something.”

* * *

“Are you sure no one notices anything?” Steve said when Bucky entered his tent. 

“If they knew we’d have been kicked out of the military long ago. I think we’re fine.” Steve smiled and moved over making space on the bed for Bucky. 

“They’re planning on sending a couple of us after Red Skull,” he said once Bucky sat down. 

“I thought we agreed, no work talk,” Bucky said grabbing Steve’s hand and moving towards him, attempting to distract him from any battle plans he was going to mention.

“Buck there’s a war going on. I can’t just ignore it in favor of my boyfriend,” he said moving backwards and away from Bucky.

“You can try. You ignored me telling you to stay back in Brooklyn. You ignored me telling you to not do anything stupid. And here you are. In Europe, after you did the stupidest thing by letting the government make a lab rat out of you. What’s the difference in ignoring the war?” He ranted, getting up off the bed and pacing around the small tent. “So if you’re going to be here I’d rather pretend like our days aren’t numbered. So can you just play along? For my sake.” 

Steve got up and walked towards him. He grabbed Bucky’s hands that were buried in his hair and brought them down to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

He still wasn’t used to looking down at Bucky, and apparently, neither was Bucky. “Don’t get me wrong, I love you and whatever body type you have, but I miss you having to yank me down to your level when you wanted to kiss me,” he laughed. “Now I have to look up at you.” 

All Steve did in response was kneel down. When Bucky gave him a questioning look he grabbed the hand he was still holding and pulled him down so he was kneeling on the floor with him. “I’m bringing you down to my level,” he said, smiling as he leaned in to kiss him. “And I really am sorry.” 

Bucky pulled him into an embrace so his head was laying in his chest. “I know you’re not sorry Steve. But I know this is what you needed to do. And I guess having you and your ugly mug around makes the war a little easier.”

Steve smiled into Bucky’s chest. Fighting Nazis and helping his country was only a small part of why he loved his job. He’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t have followed Bucky wherever he went. 

* * *

“So the world’s deadliest assassin really is your dead boyfriend? Man, I thought I had weird exes,” Clint said leaning into Steve’s couch. 

“He’s not my ex. We technically never stopped dating, we both just...died?” Steve didn’t know what to think anymore. All he knew was that he needed to get Bucky away from Hydra and somewhere safe. “I just really need you guys to help me break Bucky out of Hydra.”

“Steve he doesn’t even remember who you are. It might be Bucky but it’s not the same Bucky who was your boyfriend over 70 years ago,” Natasha said. Steve knew she had a point. He couldn’t say he didn’t realise that Bucky didn’t know who he was- it broke his heart. But he couldn’t just leave him with Hydra. He might not have been the same Bucky who Steve was in love with his entire life, but he was scared and hurting and Steve couldn’t move on knowing Bucky was out there somewhere being tortured. And Bucky might not have remembered exactly who Steve was, but he still searched him out and never once made an attempt to kill him. That had to count for something.

“He’ll remember. I know he will. Please, Natasha. He’s out there hurting.” 

So Natasha rolled her eyes and, against all better judgement, shoved her gun back into her pocket and stood up. “Fine. We’re going to have a long few days. I’ll let Fury know.” 

Natasha nodded before leaving the room to make the call. It was her way of saying that they would try their best, but there weren’t any guarantees. It was easier to leave it unsaid rather than explain to Steve that a lot could go wrong. But she knew the value and limits of love. Clint had been her partner in almost every mission she’d done for the past decade and was the only person she’d run into a burning building to save. And just like Clint had been her only family for years, Bucky was all Steve had for the majority of his life. 

So if Steve needed to run into a burning building to save the idea of his lost lover- who was Natasha to get into his way?

“Suit up boys,” she said. “We have a bunch of Russian bastards to beat up.” 

* * *

“I think we should date,” Steve said.

“I’m charmed Steve, I really am. But you just aren’t my type,” Peggy said, not even bothering to look up from the papers she was working with.

“Well I know that,” Steve said, rolling his eyes and sitting in the extra chair at her desk. “You’re, uh, not exactly my type either.”

“Yes Steve we’re both homosexuals. Now can you get to the point? I have a lot of work I need to do and I imagine you do as well.”

“You know how we spend a lot of time together?” He asked, pausing to let her respond. When she didn’t he continued explaining, “Well a bunch of the guys have started teasing me about it. Saying how I should just man up and ask you out already and-”

“Well, what does Bucky think about your sudden confidence to ask me out?” She asked, cutting him off and finally looking up from her papers.

“That’s the thing. I talked to him about it and we both agreed that it might be easier for us, and you, to sneak around if people don’t suspect anything. We’ll pretend to date so we can continue to do our jobs without any suspicion.” He really needed her to say yes. His entire life he’d been subject to people’s suspicions around his sexuality and he couldn’t risk his and Bucky’s lives now that they both had so much on the line. He had a job to do, and an important one at that. They both did. He only hoped Peggy valued her job in the same way.

She put down the papers she was holding and sat down in her chair. “Steve. That’s not a bad idea.” Steve smiled and started bouncing in his chair. “What’s our story?” 

“We can say that I asked you right now. That I took their advice,” he said. He’d thought everything out and made sure there were no holes in their story. It needed to be perfect or else they risked getting a blue ticket and sent home with nothing but shame and a target on their backs. 

Peggy hummed, considering it for a second. “You know you’d need to kiss me right? It works well on paper but if we can’t look convincing it will end up hurting us more.” 

Steve nodded. Obviously, he knew he’d have to make it look like a couple, but he didn’t think he’d have that much of an issue with it. “I’ve been in a relationship for most of my life at this point, I don’t think I’ll have a problem with kissing you, Peggy.”

His assurance did little to convince her. “Steve that’s the problem. I’m sure you have no problems being intimate with Bucky, and please spare me the details of that. But you said it yourself, you’ve been with him for your entire life. Have you ever kissed a woman?”

Steve sighed and shook his head. “No, but I don’t imagine it would be that difficult.” 

Peggy laughed. “I think I hear someone coming, so just kiss me and we’ll see if it convinces them.”

“Kiss you now?” He knew he’d do it eventually but he didn’t think it would happen  _ right this second.  _

“Christ Steve it’s only weird if you make it weird,” she said. And just like that her lips were on his. Distantly he heard the door open, but he tried to not pay attention to it. He just closed his eyes and pretended he was kissing Bucky. 

Whoever walked through the door cleared their throat, sending the two flying apart. 

“Well, that was unpleasant to watch.” Steve turned and saw a very uncomfortable Bucky standing in the open doorway. Immediately Steve’s face softened as he looked at him. Of course he had talked to Bucky about his plan, but he really hoped that he wouldn’t have to see much of it. 

“Close the door,” Peggy instructed as she pulled a third chair up to her desk. 

Bucky did as he was told and sat down in the chair.   
“Bucky I’m so sorry,” Steve said as soon as Bucky sat down. He started to reach for hands. “I pictured you the whole time. We just have to make it look realistic and-”

“Jesus Christ will you stop spewing nonsense for just a second,” Bucky said, cutting him off. “I knew this was happening, I just didn’t enjoy seeing it. I know it’s what you need to do to keep us safe. It’s fine, Steve. I know you’re not really into women.” 

Steve let out a sigh of relief. If Bucky was really okay with it, then he knew him and Peggy could pull it off. 

* * *

“I have something to ask you,” Steve said while having lunch with Sam.

Sam put down the sandwich he was eating and gave his full attention to Steve.

“You said you could fly right?” He asked.

Sam picked up a chip and started pushing it around his plate. “Yeah. I used to. Why?”

Steve perked up. “Well, I’m assuming like everyone in this century, you’ve heard about Bucky.”

“Yeah, but what does he have to do with me flying?” He asked, laughing at how excited Steve seemed. 

“Well he’s alive and he’s been brainwashed into being the world’s deadliest assassin and I need your help to rescue him.” 

Sam just looked at him, at his food, and then back at Steve. “I’m going to be honest with you Steve. I thought us hanging out all the time was dating. I thought this was a date.”

“ _ What?”  _ Steve asked, dropping his jaw and a french fry. “Why?”

“I thought you were going to ask me to be your boyfriend, not to rescue your dead boyfriend from. What did you say again?”

“From Hydra. An evil Nazi organization that has been brainwashing him into killing people for about 70 years.” 

“Right,” Sam said rolling his eyes. “Befriend Captain America they said. It will be fun they said.”

“I didn’t know you thought these were dates,” Steve sheepishly explained. 

Sam just waved him off. “So when and where do you need me to help get Bucky back?”

Steve smiled wider and brighter than Sam had ever seen him smile. “Let me introduce you to some of my friends.” 

* * *

The day Sarah Rogers died even the sun didn't shine. It was as if she was Brooklyn’s light, and when she died, all of Brooklyn dimmed. 

At least that’s what Steve thought. It was cloudy and the whole block seemed to be quiet. Like all the life in their tiny neighbourhood had drained out and it was just Steve, alone in a too dark, too quiet, and too empty world. 

“Steve,” a voice said from behind him. “My folks were going to give you a ride home from the cemetery.” Steve turned to look at the source of the voice. Bucky was looking down at him with concern lacing his every feature. “Where’d you run off to?”

“I came home, Buck.” He just wanted to be alone. He was tired and he felt like he was drowning with weights tied to each of his limbs. Heavy and submerged. 

“Well can I at least keep you company?” Bucky asked, still trying to help.

“Not today Bucky,” he sighed. “I think I should just be alone for a while.”

“But you shouldn’t have to be alone.” Bucky threw his arm around his shoulders and yanked him into his chest. “To the end of the line remember?” 

“To the end of the line,” Steve said, instinctively giving in and letting Bucky guide him home.

* * *

Steve wasn’t expecting the small manila folder Natasha handed him to make him throw up. He hadn’t thrown up since before the serum, but he guessed seeing everything Hydra had put Bucky through for the past 70 years was enough. 

Natasha silently handed him a glass of water and a towel. “I told you not to look,” she said. 

“I needed to,” he said wiping off his face with the towel. The realisation of what he’d done had hit him like a truck. Every nightmare he had ever had of Bucky’s death played over and over in his head. He wished that it had been him who’d fallen from the train. Or that Bucky died. While Steve loved the second chance he was getting with Bucky, just one look into the folder told him Bucky didn’t deserve what it took to get it. 

“Steve it’s not Bucky anymore. He’s deadly,” Natasha said taking the folder back. 

“So are you,” he said flatly. His gaze was on the empty table where the folder was placed. He was frozen and caught up in the blizzard of thoughts flying through his head. 

Natasha shook her head and got up to start pacing the small office they were sitting in. “He’s worse off than me,” she said. “I don’t think he’ll ever be the same Bucky you knew before.” 

It wasn’t until Steve looked up at her that she realised he’d been crying. His eyes were rimmed with red and a pool of tears was spilling over his eyes and onto his face leaving fresh, wet lines to stream down. In the year of knowing him, she’d never once seen him cry. Bullet holes, stab wounds, and enough injuries to kill anyone else didn’t even cause Steve to cry. But there he was, sitting in a small, windowless office room in the SHIELD building in DC, with vomit scented breath and tears and snot running down his face. She was witnessing the destruction of America’s greatest weapon, and she didn’t have the slightest clue of what to do. 

Puckering her lips, she reached behind her and grabbed the box of tissues off the shelf. When she placed them in front of him, she felt his hand grab her arm.

“It’s my fault,” he sobbed, loudly blowing his nose into the tissue. 

Kneeling down next to him and pulling his hands away from his face, she started to try and calm him down. “You thought he was dead. How were you supposed to know?” She was never one for comfort, and she imagined that a World War 2 soldier who grew up during the Great Depression wasn’t any more accustomed to it than she was.

“I should’ve gone after him,” he said between small hiccups.   
She shook her head, putting her hand on his arm. “Steve. I’m not going to lie to you. We both know what Hydra did wasn’t pretty but-”

“Thanks for that,” he sniffled. 

“ _ But, _ ” she continued. “While he might never be the same again, you have a chance to help him and take down Hydra while you’re at it. So I’m going to need you to calm the  _ fuck  _ down and get your shit together so you can save your stupid assassin boyfriend,” she said. 

She didn’t think Bucky was capable of recovery, but she also knew that for Steve to move on he needed to try. They needed to take down Hydra anyways, and who was she to question where Steve’s motives lie in doing so. 

All Steve did was take another tissue to dry his face and chug the cup of water she offered him. 

“Let’s go kick some Hydra ass,” he said once he regained his composure. And Natasha knew that was his version of a thank you. 

She followed Steve outside and towards the parking lot where Clint and Steve’s newest recruit, Sam, were suiting up. 

“Fury’s goons will meet us there,” Natasha says while grabbing another gun from the trunk. “The Soldier is out with orders to kill Steve, which we were expecting. And we have some agents at the Hydra base to shut it down.” 

She looks between the three men waiting attentively for their next orders. Despite Steve being the Captain of the team, Natasha has always been the unofficial leader. She knows the ins and outs of battle and has a much better mind for strategy than half the men leading teams. So when she speaks, everyone listens. 

“Anything else to add, Captain?” She asks turning towards Steve. 

“Go team?” He says, his tone sounding more like a question than an encouraging message. But his team doesn’t pay attention, simply letting out unenthusiastic whoops while grabbing the rest of their gear from the trunk. 

“No promises,” Natasha said once Clint and Sam had walked away. “But we’ll try our best.” She grabbed the shield from the trunk and held it out for him. 

Steve took the shield and said a silent thank you before following after Clint and Sam to whatever chaos awaited him. 

And chaos it was. Before Steve even made it to the SHIELD building, he was being shot at from every angle. Bullets raining down from somewhere above him. 

“Location on Bucky?” He asked over his comm system.

“Look above you asshat,” Natasha’s voice crinkled into his ear. 

Putting his shield above his head, Steve looked above him to see Bucky standing on the roof, gun aimed directly at him. Steve sighed as he makes eye contact with Bucky. If he’s going to go out, he’d rather it be by Bucky’s hands than anything else. And he’s fairly certain he can get Bucky to spare him. Probably. 

“I’m going up to him. I need distractions to get me up to him,” he said, already making a run for the roof of the building. 

Before Steve could even get to the door to the roof, Bucky landed in front of him on top of a car. His metal fist punched into the roof and his body denting the car. Slowly he raised his head to look at Steve. It took everything in Steve not to run towards him and cradle him in his arms like he was a lost puppy and not someone who was trying to kill Steve and everything that got in his way.

Although, as kindhearted and wholesome as people thought he was, Steve wasn’t entirely sure that he wouldn’t kill, or at least injure, anyone who got in the way of him and Bucky. 

“Bucky,” he said, walking towards Bucky as cautiously as he did the nights previous on his deck. Steve couldn’t see his face because of the mask, but he saw the slightest trace of confusion settling itself onto the exposed forehead space just above the mask. 

Bucky responded by jumping off the car and aiming the gun at Steve again. Steve’s arm immediately reached for the gun, knocking it out of Bucky’s hands and sending it flying. Both their heads snapped towards the gun and back at each other. 

Steve found it difficult to fight The Soldier knowing it was Bucky. He didn’t want to hurt him, he had already caused him enough pain and everything he was going through was enough. He didn’t need Steve to throw punches at him. 

But he kind of did. He needed to get Bucky out of Hydra, and he kind of needed to be alive for that.

He also knew deep down though, if Bucky wasn’t going to stop trying to kill him and not remember him, then he’d let him win. He’d give in. He had no future without Bucky by his side, so he’d let Bucky make that decision for him. He just hoped, starring into Bucky’s black mask as he defended himself from his fists flying at him, that it wouldn’t come to that. 

Steve managed to land a punch that knocked off Buck’s mask. “Bucky!” He yelled, desperation seeping into every ounce of his voice. “It’s Steve Rogers. You know me.” 

Bucky kept throwing punches at him as Steve rasped out, “It’s me, Steve. Please Buck, you know me,” over and over again as he got backed into the door of the building Bucky was just on top of. 

He was being pushed up towards the stairs, refusing to fight back against Bucky, just defend himself. By the time they were on top of the roof, he started crying.

“Hey buddy, I don’t mean to intrude into your relationship life, but I don’t think he’s gonna remember you,” Sam’s voice said, breaking up Steve’s thoughts as he was backed against the edge of the roof.

Steve shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “Do you guys have HYDRA under control?” He managed to rasp out, holding back Bucky’s metal fist with all his strength. 

“Yeah,” Natasha’s voice said, sounding sad. She knew what he was going to do before Steve even knew. “I know you want to Steve, but please don’t. It’s not your Bucky anymore.”

“But he’s Bucky,” he said, finally throwing Bucky’s arm off of him. Bucky’s eyes went wide as he looked down at his fist and back up at Steve. 

Steve ripped the comm system out of his ear and threw it down to the ground along with his shield. He was done fighting him.

“You know me,” Steve said, spitting blood from Bucky’s punches.

“No I don’t!” Bucky yelled, throwing another punch at Steve, who just took the punch and fell backwards. 

“You’ve known me your whole life,” he said again, getting up just to be struck down again by another of Bucky’s punches. 

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes,” he said as punches continued to land on him. 

“I’m not gonna fight you Buck. I love you,” he said, hunching towards Bucky and falling into his punches. 

Bucky charged after him, throwing punch after punch until Steve was backed up to the edge of the building, hovering just over the edge where the Potomac sat below him. 

“Finish it,” Steve challenged as he dangled over the edge of the building, Bucky’s metal fist extended above him and his flesh hand gripping the front of his suit. If this was the last thing Steve ever saw, he’d be okay with it. It was Steve who was the last thing Bucky ever saw. “Cause I’m with you, till the end of the line.” 

Steve kept his eyes open, fully prepared to be punched and thrown into the Potomac to his death. Instead, he saw recognition flash in Bucky’s eyes as his fist dropped and he took a step back.

But despite all the super solider serum running through his body, Steve passed out and fell into the river below. 

* * *

The second time Steve woke up in 2012, he wasn’t alone. Bucky was sitting silently beside him. Hovering just above him like if he got too close Steve would evaporate.

“Bucky?” Steve whispered, turning towards him. The memories of what happened came flooding back to him, but he still felt like he was dreaming. 

“You were in the Potomac,” Bucky said, quite matter-of-factly, still standing off to the side.

“I know,” Steve whispered again. Afraid that if his voice got too loud he’d scare Bucky away. “Do you know who I am?” He asked tentatively, not quite ready to know the answer.

“Stevie,” Bucky said, a small smile appearing on his face.

Steve’s face broke out into an even bigger smile. “I missed you,” he sighed, reaching for Bucky’s hand. “I remembered for the both of us, see Buck.” 

Bucky shook his head and looked down at his metal arm. “Yeah,” he muttered. “I just wanted to see you one last time. Make sure you’re okay.”

“One last time?” Steve asked, sitting up so quickly Bucky flinched to steady him. “Where are you going?”

Bucky moved back once he was certain that Steve wouldn’t make a run for it. “I’m not safe to be around you. I did this to you, Stevie,” he said, his hands twitching and balling up into fists.

“It wasn’t you though!” Steve said, reaching out towards Bucky.

“But I’m not him anymore, Steve. I’m different, look at me.”

“I’ll love you the same though,” Steve said, finally softening his voice and leaning back into the bed. “Just please don’t leave me again.”

So Bucky sat back down and took the hand Steve was offering to him. “We’re gonna be alright Buck. To the end of the line right?”

Bucky shook his head and smiled in spite of himself. “To the end of the line.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's it!! Thank you so much if you stuck with my AU, I really appreciate you reading it.  
> And you can come find me on Tumblr as nervous-bee :)


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